They're back!

Oprah just realised the freaks are in town too

The Kurbans are back Down Under to appear on Oprah's Australian TV specials this week! Brace yourself fellow Australians for more boring banter from these two ex-patriots. Guaranteed they will behave like they are so proud to be Aussies, and will rave about how they were so lucky to find one another ... bla, bla, bla. Why can't Nicole tell us something interesting for a change. For example ... how involved is the surrogate mother in Sunday Roast's life? Or how much Viagra does Keith need to get excited over Nicole in the nude? Now that would make for a more interesting show.

In the meantime, keep in mind Oprah that Australians don't care much for Kidman, and don't buy Keith's records for that matter either. In case you didn't know Oprah: Nicole has not lived in Australia since 1990 because it is not good enough for her, despite what she may tell you. Couldn't you get better guests on your show, Oprah? How about Toni Collette, Cate Blanchette or Guy Pierce? They actually live in Australia so it would make your Aussie TV shows that much more authentic. Da ya think people wanna see Granny Freeze on ya show every other month? No way! Unless we start hearing the real truth about her corny life.